Depression/post-op blues - open for all

[Bevelina]

I’m 5 weeks post op and really struggling mentally , I’m 42 year old male farmer and I presumed I would be fully off my crutches at this stage, had a review with my surgeon and physio and was told I’m behind on recovery and it will be another few weeks.
I had my recovery planned in my head and was going to be getting back to work slowly on farm at this stage walking without the crutch , gutted and fed up with being asked about the crutch and how young i am to have surgery , just want to be inconspicuous whdd ed n I’m out and around again , s as none get what I’m saying

Totally understand where you’re at headwise... one thing i’ve leaned the hard way is acceptance of the patience thats needed while we recover.. and i know others here will agree. it simply can’t be rushed, as much as we’d LOVE to get some normality back and sharpish.
I too am too young for the double THRs, but it is as it is.
5 weeks is early days while you’re bod is knitting back together 24/7, i think it helps giving yourself the space, and time to let it happen. I realise being a farmer, that will be easier said than done....
But frustrations will get less. Every one of us is different in recovery, my 2 new hip jobs over this last year weren’t the same each time. But day by day....just keep going. Go easy on yourself, give your self permission to recover. (I kept fighting that and didnt fo myself any favours)
I hope this gives encouragements, this forum has been a great help for my struggles recovering too, its been a very long long road for me, but the understanding here is really good! Nobody knows what these ops are like unless they've had/having one themselves.

 

[Gpkk]

Thanks for the encouragement, really underestimated the mental side of the recovery

 

[Bevelina]

Thanks for the encouragement, really underestimated the mental side of the recovery

Having endured nearly a year for my 2 recoveries on my own, no one really tells you what to expect in the nhs, for me anyway, in the dark. It can be a shock to your mind aswell as physically. Yes, some very testing n tearful times i’ve had along the way..but it will show you how resilient you can be, as time passes while you mend, stronger mentally in the end too, probably more than you realise. So look forward to that, brighter times will come.
Coping mechanisms? As many hobbies as you can enjoy, + some new ones. Meditation. All your favourite music and plenty of comedy. Gratitude - daily.

Today i hardly used my crutches for pottering about. Took it steady but Simple..JOY! so nice after such a very long time. I’m not 100% yet, be a few more months i reckon, (more pesky patience), but when the changes come, they’re sweet as! And at times i truly believed i’d never be able to walk again.

Keep dropping in this forum, utilise the great support, important you don’t feel alone in recovery, on good days and the not so good days, everyone knows what we’re going through.
Wishing us all well.

 

[CricketHip]

@Gpkk Can't even imagine how discouraged you are feeling, but it's actually normal to feel frustrated and disappointed.
I was self employed when I had both of my THR's and know well the pressures felt to get back to the grind.
My second (Right) hip was slower to recover also. I think I was on a crutch then a cane for at least 8 weeks, maybe even longer, and it looks like you're maybe around 5-6 weeks post op? That's really too soon to be walking well around on uneven ground and lifting things around the farm.
But then one day I didn't need any assistance and I'm sure you won't either.
Maybe find some productive things that need completed around the farm that you can handle now?
Equipment that needs some service or ordering things needed soon? I'm not sure what kind of farm you have, but on our farms there were always some little things that needed dealt with.

I wish you the very best and hope you feel some improvement soon!

Oh and ignore the people that comment on your crutch.. most people are very ignorant as to what a surgery like a joint replacement really involves.

 

[Tracy_marie]

I know I'm about 9 years late to the conversation, but this is one of the things that led me to this site. The absolute loneliness is exaggerated by things I still need assistance with. I don't have many interactions with people lately anyhow, I had a couple of emergency surgeries on my hand before the THR, so I was out of work already, but it just feels so much worse now

 

[M209]

My 4 week anniversary is today. Left THR. I have found that forcing myself to have one thing to do every day, no matter how mundane, keeps the attitude level. Today took bottles and cans to the recycling center. Hubby drives since I’m not supposed to yet. Question: is anyone still taking the Oxycodone or other heavy pain killer? I did not do well on it and most nights ended up sobbing uncontrollably because hubby needed so much guidance to help out. Wondering if medication is playing a part in anyone’s depression? I have been depressed my entire life and on antidepressants for 35 years. The Oxy definitely did a number on my outlook. I stopped taking it after about one week and no more episodes.

 

[mendogal]

I know I'm about 9 years late to the conversation, but this is one of the things that led me to this site. The absolute loneliness is exaggerated by things I still need assistance with. I don't have many interactions with people lately anyhow, I had a couple of emergency surgeries on my hand before the THR, so I was out of work already, but it just feels so much worse now

@Tracy_marie Not late! This thread is continually updated by members and staff alike, because it's such a common experience after joint surgery.
I invite you to start your own hip recovery thread -again, it's never too late! - let us know there which hip and what date so folks can easily give you support on an ongoing basis as you share updates, milestones, concerns - or just vent.
How far along post op are you and what are you still needing help with? Is there someone helping you?

 

[mendogal]

My 4 week anniversary is today. Left THR. I have found that forcing myself to have one thing to do every day, no matter how mundane, keeps the attitude level. Today took bottles and cans to the recycling center. Hubby drives since I’m not supposed to yet. Question: is anyone still taking the Oxycodone or other heavy pain killer? I did not do well on it and most nights ended up sobbing uncontrollably because hubby needed so much guidance to help out. Wondering if medication is playing a part in anyone’s depression? I have been depressed my entire life and on antidepressants for 35 years. The Oxy definitely did a number on my outlook. I stopped taking it after about one week and no more episodes.

Some fortunate people are off oxy or similar meds within days, for many is some weeks. With total knees, which I'm more familiar with, some folks need it at least at night for multiple months.
Yes, meds can definitely affect mood drastically! I'm glad you recognized it in yourself and stopped.
I also applaud your "something every day" strategy. It's an approach that got me through the pandemic lockdown with sanity intact. The very early days after my knee replacements, it wasn't needed (going from the recliner to the toilet several times daily was adventure enough) but as I regained independence it helped a lot to have a chore or activity for the day.

 

[luvcats]

My 4 week anniversary is today. Left THR. I have found that forcing myself to have one thing to do every day, no matter how mundane, keeps the attitude level. Today took bottles and cans to the recycling center. Hubby drives since I’m not supposed to yet. Question: is anyone still taking the Oxycodone or other heavy pain killer? I did not do well on it and most nights ended up sobbing uncontrollably because hubby needed so much guidance to help out. Wondering if medication is playing a part in anyone’s depression? I have been depressed my entire life and on antidepressants for 35 years. The Oxy definitely did a number on my outlook. I stopped taking it after about one week and no more episodes.

I am one week out. I take oxy at bed time. I sleep poorly under the best circumstances, so I allow myself whatever help I need while recovering. We need sleep to heal.
Pain meds can mess with your head. So can anesthesia in some people.

 

[Bevelina]

In my 2 THR experiences this last year, I definitely think all the meds can upskittle anxieties and depression, plus the heavy anaesthetic, plus the shock to mind and
body from the procedure. All of which can feel overwhelming to deal with. I was exhausted to my core after each op, mentally/physically, (my OA condition has been severe degenerative for over 3yrs mind you, my personal recovery has been extra long as my leg muscles forgot how to do their thing).

But please know it’s all temporary.
Accept healing can be a slow and steady process, be kind to you, you’re surviving every day of it, stronger as time passes.
The experiences of many on here all said the same to me throughout my ongoing recoveries - it’s temporary; Its really good to know we’re not alone in dealing with it.
Keep going,

 

[Karenhasswag]

I was just literally crying on my boyfriend's shoulder that "it's been a month and I am still so far away from feeling decent" Logically I know where I'm at is normal but emotionally I'm so tired of hurting.

Karen

 

[proffrench]

@Karenhasswag I'm also 1 month post op and I know how you feel. Good days and not so good. Today I'm going to try and rest a bit. We have to hang in there. I haven't met a person yet who has had a hip replacement and regretted it. Every one of my several friends who has been down this road feel absolutely normal again, sleep in whatever position they want, and forget that it's even there. And at least 2 of these friends are very overweight (VERY-- I'm just pleasingly plump ;)) and they're so happy they've had this done. That gives me hope on days like these.

 

[Bevelina]

My 1st THR was 9mnth ago, my 2nd THR 3mth ago. Both times i did take quite a slump in feeling very down and tired out completely, physically/emotionally.

I was irritated and ratty at how long it seemed for recovery, stoopid Google info says ohhh you’ll be working/driving/doings sports (?!) by a few weeks. No sireee! Not so... this forum is far more realistic.

i know now that Acceptance of this recovery road, and the time it’ll take, does take alot of pressure off the impatient mind, simply cannot be rushed.
Once i accepted that, and worked on keeping my mind busy each day, recovery becomes alot easier i find.
Keep going people!

 

[Flag100]

Hello I came across your post when I was trying to work out how I do my first post You are correct patience is required. I am 8 weeks post posterior and by four weeks I did not need my sticks, surgeon said to walk without them, then everything started to go wrong, heat and redness around my incision, swollen ankle groin pain, knee pain and yesterday when going to bed as I sat down it was like an electric shock with heat that went from my buttock to my lower back and I could not move, I do not know what caused this or what this is and how to fix it, I pray each day that things will improve. Then tonight my grandson aged14 came to visit and he said, grandma do not be sad, I think your problem is that your expectations were too high, out of the mouth of babes! Grandma you thoughts that because you go to the gym five days a week and that you are a road cyclist and a runner that this would be easy for you because you are fit and that is when the penny dropped, he was right I did think this, so now I have moved my goals, however is the above normal, I would love some advice. I wish you well with your recovery

 

[Bevelina]

Hello I came across your post when I was trying to work out how I do my first post You are correct patience is required. I am 8 weeks post posterior and by four weeks I did not need my sticks, surgeon said to walk without them, then everything started to go wrong, heat and redness around my incision, swollen ankle groin pain, knee pain and yesterday when going to bed as I sat down it was like an electric shock with heat that went from my buttock to my lower back and I could not move, I do not know what caused this or what this is and how to fix it, I pray each day that things will improve. Then tonight my grandson aged14 came to visit and he said, grandma do not be sad, I think your problem is that your expectations were too high, out of the mouth of babes! Grandma you thoughts that because you go to the gym five days a week and that you are a road cyclist and a runner that this would be easy for you because you are fit and that is when the penny dropped, he was right I did think this, so now I have moved my goals, however is the above normal, I would love some advice. I wish you well with your recovery

Welcome to a great forum! I am sure you will find lots of support here. I very much hope your pains has subsided and you're resting. I wonder if you will be letting your surgeon know of latest developments post op?
Bless your lovely grandson, yes, he is right, i am sure alot of other Smarties would agree, 8 weeks sounds quite early for off-stick manoeuvres i rekn, in my experiences of my 2 x THRs, ( i’m still on and off crutches at 3mnths after 2nd op).
My surgeon said (at 5wk review) to ‘get back to normal as soon as possible’
(Just like that like??!). Information from nhs surgeons is lacking, no physio referral given, so i got my own for some help; far more realistic info here from admin/members. Alot of knowledge and experience here which is so much needed.

So, i have learnt in my last year of 2 hip ops, patience and acceptance in recovery, let your bod knit n mend, elevate and ice is really good for the pain. Go easy on yourself ..and accept will take the necessary time, we’re all different with that, it sure can’t be rushed though, the Overdo it Club know about that, but our new engines will be so much better than our old ones.
Keep dropping by here, i hope you feel better today?
No cartwheels or acrobatics allowed for a bit yet

 

[Flag100]

Hello I came across your post when I was trying to work out how I do my first post You are correct patience is required. I am 8 weeks post posterior and by four weeks I did not need my sticks, surgeon said to walk without them, then everything started to go wrong, heat and redness around my incision, swollen ankle groin pain, knee pain and yesterday when going to bed as I sat down it was like an electric shock with heat that went from my buttock to my lower back and I could not move, I do not know what caused this or what this is and how to fix it, I pray each day that things will improve. Then tonight my grandson aged14 came to visit and he said, grandma do not be sad, I think your problem is that your expectations were too high, out of the mouth of babes! Grandma you thoughts that because you go to the gym five days a week and that you are a road cyclist and a runner that this would be easy for you because you are fit and that is when the penny dropped, he was right I did think this, so now I have moved my goals, however is the above normal, I would love some advice. I wish you well with your recovery

Welcome to a great forum! I am sure you will find lots of support here. I very much hope your pains has subsided and you're resting. I wonder if you will be letting your surgeon know of latest developments post op?
Bless your lovely grandson, yes, he is right, i am sure alot of other Smarties would agree, 8 weeks sounds quite early for off-stick manoeuvres i rekn, in my experiences of my 2 x THRs, ( i’m still on and off crutches at 3mnths after 2nd op).
My surgeon said (at 5wk review) to ‘get back to normal as soon as possible’
(Just like that like??!). Information from nhs surgeons is lacking, no physio referral given, so i got my own for some help; far more realistic info here from admin/members. Alot of knowledge and experience here which is so much needed.

So, i have learnt in my last year of 2 hip ops, patience and acceptance in recovery, let your bod knit n mend, elevate and ice is really good for the pain. Go easy on yourself ..and accept will take the necessary time, we’re all different with that, it sure can’t be rushed though, the Overdo it Club know about that, but our new engines will be so much better than our old ones.
Keep dropping by here, i hope you feel better today?
No cartwheels or acrobatics allowed for a bit yet

Thank you for your very kind message you mention NHS so I know now you live in the UK. Like you I am paying for physio I have known the physio for more than twenty years as he got me to many a marathon when I was injured so I trust him so that’s good. I have advised the surgeon about the problems I am having and was advised to wait until week 12 and if there is not an improvement he will look into it I am on week 8.
today I decided to go to the gym today NO I wasn’t working out I sat in the coffee shop just to feel I was back as I watched everyone walking by off to their classes. I have a spin bike at home and the physio said I can lightly spin for max 20 min every second day, just as I was about to leave the young man who takes the spin classes came over to me and asked how I was, I said that I was going home to spin my legs lightly, he said next week come to my class I said I can’t do a spin class, he laughed and said, I mean come along for 20 min spin your legs be with the group and listen to some “Banging Tunes” I guess that’s young people “speak“ for good music I was very touched by his concern and kindness so Monday I will go to the gym and turn my legs for 20 minutes, I am feeling much better at the thought of doing something from my “old hip life” thank you once again for replying to me